Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Some Things Are Just Better Left In The Past

Have you ever done something so dumb, that you were hoping it would stay buried in the past (and secretly hoping it would soon be forgotten)? I know I have. I think probably more often than I care to admit.

My mom must have had karma today and know that the tension in the household today was getting a little thick and I needed a good laugh. Between a five year old son who decided again to check his ability to trust me and a tense morning spent with my husband trying to pick paint to finish up Sam's bedroom as a birthday surprise while he is with a friend for a couple of days (which might be a post for another day)I desperately needed a good laugh.

My mom started out the conversation by saying, "I want to read you something and see if it reminds you of a time in your life." That in and of itself told me the experience I was to recall wasn't going to be good. I just wasn't sure exactly what instance she was referring to. It only took her reading me the first paragraph to have an instance pop into my mind.

I am NOT going to go into specifics about my situation, other than I will say the writer's experience was very eerie in how similar it was to our own experience. I thought the author's words capture the experience mighty well.

The following is an article my mom found on ksl.com.

"When your neighbor unexpectedly shows up at your doorstep and the first thing they say is, "This is going to be just as embarrassing for me as it is for you" chances are the conversation is destined to be an awkward one.

Something that comes along with the joys of home ownership is the getting to know our neighbors, for better or for worse. Many of us have had to engage in the occasional awkward neighborly conversation, "Hey, your dog pooped on my lawn again" or "your teenager drives by my house a little too fast for comfort."

But I confidently declare that non can rival the awkwardness my husband and I recently went through when confronted by our backyard neighbor about a certain, um, concern.

In the moment Mrs. X approached me a couple weeks ago with "this is going to be just as embarrasing for me as it is for you" my mind was racing. What is she about to say next? What could we have possibly done to bring about such a discussion?

The next sentence she uttered will forever go down in family history. “I don’t know how else to say this, but the fogged glass in your shower window isn’t as fogged as you might think it is.”

Wow. Gotta say I wasn’t expecting that!

It took me a few seconds to compute what she was saying. Once the implications set in I wanted to curl up in a little ball and hide. Our master bathroom shower window to which she was referring is on the back of our house directly facing our neighbors. Our yards aren’t enormously deep, so you get the picture (no pun intended).

Shocked and mortified, my husband and I stewed over her claim for hours, well, more like days. Actually, we are still stewing a little. How long had this been going on before they finally decided to confront us?

I was too thrown off guard to ask that during the conversation and now bringing it back up would be too awkward so I may never know. (However, if that certain neighbor is reading this you can always respond with a comment because it might be less awkward than calling to talk about it in person).

Anyway, back to that night.

We wanted to test her claims, so one of us stood in the shower while the other went outside to see just how bad it really was. Sure enough, the glass looked much less fogged looking in than out. Hardly fogged at all if I’m being perfectly honest. And this had been going on for eight months! Why had we trusted the glass company? We were ready to demand for our “fogged glass window” money back!

Then my husband recalled what might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The night before the conversation he had taken a shower, with the light on no less, and had decided to clean and scrub the shower including the tile ceiling of the shower while showering. To reach the ceiling he had to stand on the bench to do the scrubbing.

Dun dun dun. Oh, our poor neighbors."

I did find it comforting that we aren't the only ones who thought fogged glass was supposed to be, I don't know, say foggy! To help keep what happens behind fogged glass PRiVaTE! All I can say we were brand new to a neighborhood and after hearing this devastaing news I was convinced we were putting the house up for sale and moving far, far away from that neighborhood. Bryon convinced me to stick it out. We went onto live about eight years in that neighborhood and some of our best friends came from the people we met there.

I challenge anyone that can beat this story to give it a shot!


Doreen said...

oh that one is pretty good. I do have one but will not try to top yours. btw do I know this neighbor?

Jennifer said...

Yes, you do. Drive by my old house and look where the fogged window is and I am pretty sure you can figure it out from there!